Let’s talk about our feelings.Posted: January 30, 2013
Not that I want to, of course. I hate talking about my feelings. As a trombonist, I’ve felt a strong moral obligation not only to live with no dietary restrictions, but to also never show emotion. Also I just like making up rules for myself.
Carmen’s Life Rules:
- Don’t cry in public.
- Always sleep with one pillow. Or sleep with no pillow.
- When eating at a new restaurant that has a Ruben on the menu, order the Ruben, but not if it’s vegetarian. Vegetarian Rubens aren’t real Rubens, and therefore should not be eaten because its lack of corned beef is sure to disappoint.
- Heated seats in cars are gross because it’s like someone has just been sitting in that seat.
- Mechanical pencils are for lazy people.
- The purpose of exercising should be to get fresh air and enjoy the great outdoors. Also, elliptical machines make me feel small and without purpose.
- Don’t even compare sharks to dolphins.
- Boring people get bored. (I heard this little gem on one of the three episodes of Mad Men I’ve watched. Don Draper’s wife said it, I believe.)
I feel like I forgot some but I can’t think of them now. That last one was a bit of a reach, mostly because for a long time I had a rule that said, “Quotes are for people who can’t think of anything interesting to say themselves.” I’ve changed my mind about that one. It turns out that sometimes you’ll bump into someone that knows more about something than you do. I’ve also changed my mind about trombonists having a moral obligation to not have any dietary restrictions and never showing emotion. Not that those were ever very serious rules, but still. They’re out.
EDIT: You might have to squint in order to read this post through all the cheese. I’ve been feeling sentimental lately.